Informal Separation: Trialling Unmarried Life.

Informal separation is a key step that any couple should consider before looking at ending their marriage. As it requires no legal input, it’s up to you and your partner to decide if it’s worth trialling,

In this article, I’ll be covering the basics of informal separation, including definitions, best practices, and the best thing to do once it’s over.

What is informal separation?

Informal separation is the process of moving apart from your spouse whilst still married. It’s an informal procedure, meaning you do it voluntarily and decide to do so with your spouse.

Unlike divorce, it requires no applications or paperwork. It doesn’t need any legal input – it’s purely up to both parties to consider.

What are the benefits?

Partaking in informal separation offers a wide range of potential benefits for your relationship and marriage.

Most importantly, living apart from your spouse will give you both time to reflect on your relationship and consider solutions to any issues you may have.

Moreover, living apart will lessen the emotional stress that you may be causing each other. One of the biggest reasons why people choose informal separation is that they wish to experience life free from their other half.

You should also consider that separating may help you realise that you don’t want a divorce. After all, it’s difficult to tell if splitting up is the right choice when you most likely live together.

What is the difference between informal separation and judicial separation?

As mentioned prior, informal separation is the process of living apart whilst still married and legally together. This means you can freely get back together afterwards if you so choose.

Judicial separation, on the other hand, is the legal process of separation. It doesn’t end the marriage in the same way as divorce, but it does formally end your marriage.

Typically, if you decide to end your marriage, you’ll most likely choose divorce instead of judicial separation. This is because divorce is likely to be the only option you meet the requirements for.

How long should we remain informally separated?

It’s hard to give you an exact number on how long you should stay informally separated. For some couples it can take a few weeks, for others the better part of a year.

Only you and your spouse will know how long you will need to remain separated until you reach a conclusion. Once you realise that your life feels different, for better or worse, you’ll know it’s time to make a decision.

Can we stay in the same house?

Informal separation comes with no rules whatsoever. If you find that staying under the same house but leading separate lives works for you, then by all means try it.
If you’re trialling this, it’s probably best to:

• sleep in different rooms;
• prepare your own food and clothes;
• go out individually; and
• begin to separate your finances.

However, it may be difficult to lead a completely separate life away from your spouse when living together as you’ll likely still see them on a daily basis. To gain the full experience of life without your spouse, living apart is the best option.

What else should I consider alongside informal separation?

It’s vital to start thinking about financial proceedings and child arrangements when choosing informal separation. You should definitely speak to a family law solicitor about your options as it’s best to be prepared.

Even though it’s only informal, planning ahead for how you wish to divide assets and sort child arrangements is key in ensuring you’re ready for divorce.

Will this have an impact on later proceedings?

Informal separation shows that you have both at least tried to salvage your marriage. If you find yourself going through divorce later down the line, you can show the court that both parties did attempt to try an amicable solution.

In any case, it’s good practice to take note of the date you separated, alongside other actions you took to try and experience life without your spouse. For example, if you and your partner start making arrangements with finances and children, you should note down when and for how long it takes place.

Informal separation: what happens after?

Once you feel that the separation has run its course, it’s now time to answer an important question: did it work?

It worked – how do we fix the issues in our marriage?

If you feel that time away from your spouse has been worse, it’s now time to consider how to improve your marriage and move onwards.

You can try options such as marriage counselling if you haven’t already. Here you’ll be able to discuss the separation with your partner, allowing you both to pinpoint exactly why you feel the way you do, and how you can look to improve your marriage.

It didn’t work – what are my options now?

Unfortunately, spending time apart through informal separation is not always the answer. Many couples find that they prefer their newfound space and enjoy the time they’ve spent away from their spouse.

If you find yourself in this situation, it’s now time to think about ending your marriage. Whether this be through divorce or judicial separation, it’s likely that splitting up is the best option for you both.