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There are many things to consider before getting a divorce. Whether it be emotions, finances, or children, thinking about the future is crucial before making such a big decision.
To help get you started, I’ve outlined 6 key things that you should consider before getting a divorce. Regardless of your situation or how certain you are about going ahead with the divorce, at least one of these points will apply to you.
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Part 1 in our Getting a Divorce series
Part 2: Applying for Divorce
Things to consider before divorce.
If you’re thinking about taking the first step towards divorce, regardless of your situation, you should always consider the following:
1. Are you thinking rationally?
It’s crucial to weigh up your emotions before getting a divorce. This big decision can have lasting consequences on not just yourself, but also your partner, family, and friends.
If you’ve had a one-off fight with your partner, your first thought shouldn’t be divorce. Instead, take a few days to cool off and assess your emotions. Remember that your current feelings may cloud your judgment and make you say or do things you may not necessarily want.
The truth is that every relationship will consist of arguments. However, ask yourself this: is it one of many or is it a one-off?
You might even find that you think more rationally after reading this blog about things to consider before divorce.
2. What assets are you entitled to?
Financial proceedings are likely to be the most complex and contentious part of your divorce. With that in mind, review what you own and who likely has more of a claim to it.
You’ll already know what you’re entitled to if you signed a pre-nuptial agreement before marriage. However, this is something a lot of couples choose not to do, meaning they jointly own most of their assets.
Marital assets will include the likes of your house, car, artwork, and savings. It doesn’t necessarily matter who accumulated these assets or wealth as the law in England and Wales states that your spouse also has joint ownership of them.
Non-marital assets include things that one spouse obtained outside of the marriage, perhaps before marrying or after separating. This includes inheritance, businesses, or properties. However, it’s important to note that some non-marital assets are complicated, and your spouse may claim that they are actually entitled to part of it.
Although it can be harder said than done, it’s always good to make decisions that aren’t based on emotion. If you set realistic expectations and create fair goals, asset distribution can be much quicker and less stressful.
If you already have things in mind that you’d like to take ownership of, it’s helpful to document this by way of a list or photos so that you can prepare for any financial proceedings.
This part of a divorce can be quite complex, you should consult an expert to outline your rights. Call us on 0203 007 5500 to speak to one of our divorce solicitors.
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3. Where will you live?
Most married couples in England and Wales share a home so living arrangements are something to consider before divorce. Not only will this affect you and your spouse financially, but it also means that one of you will likely move out when the divorce starts.
If it’s likely to be you moving out, think about where you can go. Can you stay with friends or family? Do you have money to rent somewhere temporarily until things settle?
If your spouse is moving out, consider what you can do to keep things amicable. You could offer them more time to stay until the divorce settles. If you live with your children, it may be nicer for your spouse and them to remain together until they find somewhere else.
Whatever your decision, remember that every divorce is different. There is no right answer for every scenario; it’s up to you to decide how to approach it.
Do I forfeit any rights by leaving the family home?
No. If you choose to leave the family home amicably, you do not lose any claim to the house when it comes to financial proceedings. The court may even rule in your favour if you’ve been amicable whilst your spouse has not.
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4. What happens to your children?
One major element to consider before divorce is who else it will likely affect. For many couples, it’s their children.
Whilst child arrangements can occur regardless of whether a couple is married or not, it still makes up one of the three main pillars of divorce. Most married couples in England and Wales will have to deal with their children’s living arrangements once they finalise their divorce.
Consider where your children will spend the majority of their time and who with. Ensure that you keep the disruption in their lives to a minimum. Try to keep them living close to their school, extracurricular activities, and friends.
For children, their parent’s divorce can be one of the most traumatic experiences of their lives. They’re likely to be vulnerable during this time and need support. Support can be in the form of counselling, emotional availability from parents, and the rest of the family helping to keep things as normal as possible.
It’s important to ensure any negative feelings towards your partner aren’t reflected onto the child. Don’t speak negatively about their other parent and don’t limit their relationship.
Remember – it’s not about what’s best for you. You should always think of your child’s needs first, which is what the courts will do during any decision-making.
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5. Does your Will need updating?
A common misconception when drafting a Will is that you should wait until you finish your divorce before making or updating one. However, I advise you not to do this.
In England and Wales, by default, your spouse will inherit your entire estate if you die without a Will. This is the case even if you are going through divorce proceedings.
For that reason, you should draft your Will in contemplation of divorce. This means that you add a caveat to the Will that states whether or not you wish your spouse to benefit. You should also outline if this is the case after the court grants the Final Order.
You should always plan ahead when drafting your Will. Contact our Wills team to update your Will in contemplation of divorce by calling 0203 007 5500.
6. Will you get the support you need?
The final thing to consider before divorce is support.
It’s no secret that divorce can be a stressful time for all, but it’s important to think about who will be there to help you. Have you got friends and family to support you?
For those with no close friends or relatives, there’s plenty of online support. Sites such as Relate provide support for not just divorce but for marriage and couple counselling too.
Many people might be scared of going through the process alone, meaning they put divorce off entirely. However, it’s better to temporarily endure divorce than to live unhappily forever.
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