5. Children during the divorce process.

Although this may seem an obvious factor, the key thing to remember here is that it’s you getting a divorce and not your children. However, this is not to say that your children are not still very much involved in the divorce. Your children are very vulnerable during this time, meaning if they aren’t given the correct support, the trauma could have a lasting effect. Children need to be protected during a divorce, and the following are a few tips that can ensure that they feel reassured with the change.

Firstly, stay away from bad mouthing your partner in front of your children. It’ s an easy thing to do in the heat of the moment as it’s natural to have anger towards your partner during the divorce proceedings. However, it has been proven that saying cruel things in the presence of your children can have a lasting effect on them, and they may blame you for this.

Secondly, your children need to have a relationship with both you and your spouse. Your children will likely still love both you and your ex-partner and want to continue having a relationship with you both. No matter how angry or upset you are with your spouse, we advise you not to discourage a healthy parent-child bond. It may be difficult, but, trying to break this relationship up can do you more harm than good as your child will likely blame you for not having a relationship with their other parent which can lead to them resenting you.

4. Don’t dwell on the reasons for getting a divorce.

As much as we wish it did, the family courts place little value on the reasons why a marriage broke down and who was responsible in most cases. Their priority is simply to validate that the marriage has broken down to a point where it can not be saved and that it can be ended.

Reflecting on the reasons for why you are getting a divorce can hurt you more financially because you can end up in a long, drawn out legal battle over who did what when and to who, when really all you are doing is delaying the finalisation of your divorce. Remember your solicitor is not your councillor and they will be recording their time spent discussing factors that may not support your case in court.

We understand this is a tough ask, but bear in mind that the quicker you and your ex-partner come to a compromise over the reasons for divorce, the sooner you can both be free of your marriage and move on with your lives.

3. Separate emotion from expectation during a divorce.

A divorce will entail numerous life-changing choices. Due to the importance of such decisions, we advise that you take your time to consider and understand the future consequences. Be careful that your emotions aren’t clouding your judgement because emotionally-led choices can cause you to look back on the divorce with regret.

Also, unfortunately, as much as you may feel you deserve more, you must have goals that are reasonable and consistent with the law. There’s nothing stopping you from asking for more than your fair share as you would at the beginning of any negotiation, but don’t expect to get it. If you want to get your divorce case resolved quickly, you need to develop a fair expectation of the outcome. The easiest way to do this is to consult with a solicitor to get a better understanding of the probable conclusions in your case. You can contact one of our specialist solicitors at Britton and Time.

2. Document everything for the divorce process.

In times where assets are being divided, it’s better to be safe than sorry as some specific divorces can lead to disputes over valuable items, such as cameras, TVs or an expensive painting. Creating an inventory and documenting is a massive help to aggressive separations where essential documents and assets can go missing because without proof that they ever existed it results in a “my word versus your word” scenario. Additionally, even in simple divorces, this action can help speed up the entire process.

Disputes can often be avoided altogether by taking the following advised steps:

• Take photographs of every item you are interested in, so there’s a record of it.
• Check that there is a date associated with the photos. On a smartphone, it should save the date to each picture automatically. If unsure, using the front page of that day’s newspaper in the photo is another option.
• Once you’ve got the images, you need to make sure they are kept in a secure place.
• Create a list of all the items and research to get an estimated value of each one.
• Make sure you make a copy of all essential documents and, also, keep these in a safe place.

1. Look to the future.

A crucial thing to keep in mind is to be forward-thinking in a time like this. As hard as it is to know, dwelling on all the horrible things your partner did during your marriage, will sadly stop you from moving forward in the divorce process. And the longer the divorce process goes on, the more it can hurt you. Financially, you will have to pay the legal fees for longer, and being caught up with more minor factors may cause you to miss out on a fair deal regarding child custody.

Instead, put the past behind you and look to your future goals and priorities. You could be out dating or spending time on the hobbies you love. If you approach the divorce with a willingness to work with your spouse and prioritise essential factors such as when you get to see your children or living arrangements it will become an overall happier, quicker and cheaper experience for you.