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After coming to the end of our ‘Getting a Divorce’ series, you may believe that it’s simply not the right option for you. In that case, you should consider alternatives to divorce instead.
Luckily, there are several different ways to end your relationship, or even save the relationship if that’s something you’re open to.
In this divorce guide blog, we explore four simple alternatives to divorce, ranging from ways to work on your marriage to ending your marriage outside of divorce.
Looking to cut to the chase? Speak to our expert divorce team today by calling us on 0203 007 5500 or by submitting a contact form.
Part 7 in our ‘Getting a Divorce’ series
Part 6: Life After Divorce
Marriage counselling:
the first alternative to divorce.
What is marriage counselling?
Marriage counselling allows couples to speak about their marital issues with a qualified therapist. These can help to highlight any issues a couple may have within their relationship.
Often, the decision to divorce won’t be for any one reason, and instead, is a case of ‘death by a thousand cuts’. Couples will reach a breaking point and then decide enough is enough.
Marriage counselling is an excellent way to address the issues that build up, talk things through with an unbiased party, and then have new foundations to work on to overcome these issues.
How is it an alternative to divorce?
By discussing issues in a professional environment, you can bring grievances to the attention of one another. This way, you can see the issues in your marriage from the perspective of your spouse.
Marriage counselling may not work for everyone, but it’s a good place to start. This route can potentially avoid divorce entirely. However, if your marriage has irretrievably broken down, this option may not be appropriate.
Where can I start?
The best way to start marriage counselling is to first consult your partner. Speak openly with them and tell them that you wish to solve the issues in your marriage.
It might not be easy to approach, and many people hate the idea of sharing their feelings and problems with a stranger. Only a small portion of couples explore marriage counselling. Yet, according to Psychology Today, the average success rate of couples counselling is around 75%, which is a great incentive to share with your partner.
Sites such as Relate offer a marriage counselling service that aims to fix marriages before they reach the stage of divorce.
Religious marriage counselling
If you’re religious, you may find it even harder to talk about trouble in your marriage and feel uncomfortable discussing it with people outside your relationship. There are marriage counsellors who base their sessions on religious principles and beliefs, so it’s definitely worth exploring these options.
You can even talk to the leader of your religious community and see if they can offer any guidance or recommend suitable services.
Informal separation:
the second alternative to divorce.
What is informal separation?
Informal separation is when a couple decides to live apart but not officially end their marriage. This occurs typically when the couple chooses to spend time apart to see how it affects their lives.
How is it an alternative to divorce?
Couples that choose to live apart informally allow each other to experience divorced life without actually going through the process. If they discover that they prefer married life, it saves them from going through the divorce and finding out once the Final Order is issued.
Again, as this is an informal choice, like with counselling, it won’t apply to marriages that have irretrievably broken down. In toxic marriages, a more official solution will be necessary.
Where can I start?
Informal separation means that you’ll first have to express your wishes to your partner. They may agree or they may disagree. Whatever happens, remind them that you wish to try this option first to give your marriage the best possible chance.
Once you agree to try it out, you should also set up other arrangements, for example, where you will live, when you will see the kids, and how you will divide bills and finances. These agreements will be on an informal basis but give a good insight into decisions made during divorce.
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Judicial separation:
the third alternative to divorce.
What is informal separation?
Judicial separation (also known as legal separation) is a formal separation which the court sanctions. This type of separation doesn’t dissolve the marriage, but it does end all marital obligations.
How is it an alternative to divorce?
This alternative gives couples, who might not be eligible for divorce, the option to formally end their marriage. If your marriage is less than 12 months old, or you cannot divorce for religious reasons, judicial separation is an option.
As it’s a formal process involving the court, you would only choose this alternative to divorce if you’re sure that your marriage has irretrievably broken down. This may forego any chance of reconciliation if you choose to do so.
Where can I start?
If you’re looking to apply for judicial separation, our solicitors can help. We can assist with the application, financial settlement, and child arrangements. Call our expert team now on 0203 007 5500 to get started.
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Annulment:
the fourth alternative to divorce.
What is annulment?
Annulment is a way of formally ending your marriage. However, it is quite niche as you need to prove that your marriage was never valid or became invalid in some way.
For example, your marriage may never have been valid if you were already in a marriage or civil partnership. Moreover, your marriage may become invalid if it was never consummated (you’ve not had sex with your spouse). You can view all the criteria via the government website.
How is it an alternative to divorce?
Annulment is an alternative to divorce as it offers you an opportunity to void your marriage, meaning it officially never existed. Additionally, you can apply for annulment at any time, unlike the 12-month restriction of divorce.
Annulment is an official process that involves applying to the court. You should only choose this option if you’re certain you want to void the marriage.
Where can I start?
Annulment is a formal process that we can assist in. Contact our family law team by calling 0203 007 5500 and we can help you get started.
Arguing over finances?
If you’ve found that money is causing a major strain on your relationship, you could benefit from creating a post-nuptial agreement. A post-nuptial agreement is drafted by a solicitor and outlines what happens to your assets if your marriage breaks down.
You might even find that once you have all your finances officially laid out and confirmed by the courts, it alleviates some tension and gives you space to work on the relationship.
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What is the best alternative to divorce?
When it comes to what the best choice is for your marriage, it will depend entirely on the scenario you’re in.
If you and your spouse are working together to solve the faults in your marriage, then counselling or informally separating are the best choices for you. Alternatively, if you think your marriage is beyond salvaging, judicial separation, or annulment (if applicable) may work better.
Ensure that you speak with your spouse, if amicable, or a professional to work out which choice will be the best for your situation.
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